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8 lessons at 18.

If you are anything like me, your teenage years were as eventful as mine and if not, must say you’ve missed quite a lot. It seems like a lot happened during those years than most of the times. Teenage is literally a stage that turns a boy into a man and a girl into a woman. Here is a compilation of 8 such lessons I learnt on my way to turning 18:
1. You can always go home. 
This one, most important of all. As we grow, we start hiding things from our parents or so to say, keep things to ourselves. Sometimes, we engage in aggressive arguments relating to : from whom should I stay away, the decisions which I would regret later, the things that matter in life and pretty much everything and surprisingly enough, all that they once mentioned;happens with us. Even at our worse, they somehow consider us the best. They’re the real best friends we’ll ever have, the most selfless ones.

2. There’s no better gift than failure.
Now, most of you will disagree with me on this. We’re busy in the rat race and believe that our ultimate goal should be perfection not realizing that the most creative people on earth weren’t flawless. The reason we fail endlessly is because we invite failure to our lives by thinking more about it than success. But- in any case, it helps by paving way for appreciation about the little things we have in life.

3. Happiness counts, always. 
Or it can be, temporarily but not permanent. We’ve heard about the glass with water: half-empty or half-full. But, point is how does it matter if the glass is half full of half empty if there’s water in it? The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they make the best of everything.

4. Nothing will change you like heartbreaks will.
Heartbreaks will always teach you to reevaluate the way you see yourself and those around you. Something difficult will happen every time you experience a heartbreak and the pain as cliched it might sound will be unbearable but you will get through it because the best way out is always through. Take advantage of this – enhance your creativity. Don’t let it stink.

5. You are enough, you’ll always be. 
At times, we doubt our wholeness. Self-doubt is the worst enemy one can ever have. You’ve possibly got the best of genes your parents had to offer you, don’t doubt them.

6. You’ll never figure it out all. 
No one does. Once, I remember asking my therapist when was it that she learnt so much about life and various other things. You won’t believe she erupted in laughter and tears at the same time. She said no one figures it out all, and that’s okay. How can I be any different?

7. You can never please everyone. Never. 
Your mom might like your hair short and friends might like your hair otherwise so you see, you’ll keep your hair the way you like it to be. So now, repeat this after me, “I cannot please everyone and it’s okay,” for more than hundred times. You’ll either go crazy or learn the easiest way of being satisfied.

8. Perspective is beautiful.
Perspective – cause’ each has a different one. ( BTW, this is Deepika Vasani’s blog title. ) Typically, when we’re worried or upset, we’ve lost perspective. Everything that’s happening in our life suddenly seems so big, so important but in real, none of this matters 20 years from now. Sometimes, it becomes really threatening, just let it go and move on.

I completely forgot about how important and healthy “SOLITUDE” is.

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Although, I was planning to write on “18 things at 18” , I figured out that I need not sound a grandma always. And I need to apply these lessons too.  Haha. Hope, you enjoyed reading it. Have a good day.

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Trail of Happiness.

Today, I would like to talk about the most important thing in everyone’s lives. What is it? Any guesses? hmm – Happiness!

” Where do we find it? Who takes us there? ” I had so many questions about the same when I was 15. We, humans always want to be everyone’s favorite company to be with, someone who is constantly told that they’re loved. There’s this inborn thing that we’re born with – A Never Ending Craving Of Being Loved.  We crave attention, love, respect and so much more. We’ve forgotten that all this is not demanded but earned.

It’s not the make up we wear to impress guys or the goodness we show to impress girls that makes us happy. Neither going to Starbucks with friends or going Inox for watching a movie. It isn’t the number of likes on our Facebook display or Instagram followers. In the rat race of achieving love  and pleasing people, we’ve almost forgotten what makes us happy.  Happiness can never come from these materialistic things because it exists in things that are enduring and natural like a going on a walk with your best friend, reading your favorite book in a bookstore, The V.Good remark in your notebook and so much more.

Why do we change ourselves for the sake of people liking us? Why pleasing others when you are the only one who supports yourself after crying behind the bathroom door at 2am?

The best en route to Happiness is curtailment of worldly perspective.

And God said, “Love your enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself.

Respect yourself, Love yourself for who you are for you know how far you’ve come. By the way, What makes you happy and when did you do it for the last time? 🙂

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Reset and Refresh.

I won’t be able to talk in terms of life, so I’d rather talk about Math.There are so many things in life which constantly keep on changing. Various new elements are added up and a few are subtracted. Some variables are re-arranged but there’s always an element that stays, because of which it’s termed as a “Constant.” Similarly, Life?

 Life is a variable, it keeps on changing. We are the only constants.

– Simran Brijwani.

At times when we’re sitting alone, having nothing to do. During that span of time, all that we probably think of is what causes us pain? Why we’re not good enough? How could God be so harsh with certain situations? And more.
Sometimes, the silence gets so loud that the only thing left to do is to hope that your heart is strong enough to beat it out. It’s just silence or maybe you can say it’s the lightening before a thunderstorm. You never know.
Don’t get so lost in the emptiness that you forget to see the radiant rainbow that shines after rains, the birds that are chirpy even after a downfall from the sky, the old lady around who’s still young at heart even after having so much to cry about or your mom who smiles even after sacrificing so much for you, That life is so beautiful from every edge and corner and that

It’s the sorrow that adds up to the extra joy you feel after coming out of a storm.
– Simran Brijwani.

All these are just, ‘Ups and Downs’ or maybe different levels at which we are or were. All we have to do is be stable till we reach the end. And to reach there; Just as we reset the settings in a computer and refresh to fasten the working of the device, we need to reset all those things that make us feel unhappy about life and refresh in order to live fearlessly without having anything to regret.

“I’ve never really had any answers(to the journey of life); just experiences without regrets.”~ Simran Brijwani.

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Regrets or no regrets?

           We all have stories we’ll never tell. Stories of heartbreak, stories of failure and precisely what not? All of us have undergone some situations where in sometimes we regret the things we’ve already done or maybe things that we should have done. We often regret much even though it doesn’t change the situation.

           Regrets don’t really make anything better, they just take away our peace of mind. You may not see it today or tomorrow but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing you regret brought you up to something really wonderful- or where you always wanted to be.

          Like, for example you go to a mall to a particular shop with a sale of 40% and you find that the shop is closed. You then, regret for a while and stroll before you leave the mall. Suddenly, you find another shop that has a sale of 80%, you buy more than you’d expected.

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Further more, for example, you just failed in a test and you find that all your friends passed. It somewhere hinders your mind which makes you work a little more than others. This little more effort then helps you succeed.

Sometimes, it’s better to fall down. Sometimes, it’s not about the happy ending, it’s just about the story.

You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to.

Isn’t it?

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Kindness and other battles.

They say – 7 million people. 14 million faces. Well, it’s all said and done. There are times when people whom we like are disliked by others. There are situations when what we feel is right is wrongly taken. But let me tell you one thing –

There’s a story behind every person who pretends to be heartless and the one who becomes hideous as time passes.

Somehow our heart always manages to become a shelter for those who don’t know how to treat it. Some people say- so what, not everyone is the same? Okay, but it goes the other way round too. Not everyone is different, right? It’s all about the perspective.

We are surrounded by so many judgments that sometimes we feel like we are a parrot who’s captivated- so much to say yet no one to listen without making judgments. Let’s try not to judge each other’s  perspective. After all,we all have one?

The motive behind this picture is seeing a Zero Judgement Day, soon!

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You never know the guy who past just returned from the hospital after admitting his mother and the girl sitting next to you just lost someone she loved. What scares me is that a person sitting next you is fighting a battle you are unaware of and still manages to be happy.

The question is what must one do? Nobody desires any kind of sympathy, Just be kind. It costs nothing but a smile.

“I wish everyday could be Halloween, We could wear masks all the time. Then we could walk around and get to know each other before we got to see what we looked like inside the masks.”

(Quoted by R.J Palacio, Wonder.)

Perhaps, one of the heart-touching lines ever written. Correct No?

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Stay or Leave? Leave.

         There are certain things in life which if we would know at the right age would help us prevent mistakes in the past. They say, “Experience is a brutal teacher”, with which I firmly agree.

         With every passing day, We are learning something from people and nature around us. At times, we are over sensitive towards our friendships and other relationships. There are time

As when our loved ones start keeping a distance from us because of insecurities and other reasons which makes us feel low. As a result, we either force them to stay or take the blame on ourselves when in reality, nobody is to be blamed!

        We need to learn to let go. I don’t say it’s gonna be easy but it’s surely gonna be worth it. There was girl who saw a radiant rose in a garden and plucked it to make her flower pot look more beautiful. As she put the flower in the vase, after few days it died. She asked her mom and she replied: “You can’t force a flower to thrive somewhere it doesn’t belong to.”

        Isn’t this with people too? You can’t force someone to stay. All you can do is tell them what they mean to you and leave the rest on them to decide because forced relationships don’t survive,they die.

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We must always remember this statement:

The ones who want to stay, always will no matter how hard you push them away but the ones who want to leave, always will, no matter how hard you try to make them stay.